By Matthew Cauz
I love the desperation that comes with New Year’s Eve. You hit the gym to lose 1,000 calories thinking you’re getting healthy even though you put back over 4,000 calories of booze and finger foods the night before. You swear this is the year you’ll learn another language, read James Joyce’s Ulysses all the while becoming a better person. Wow that sounds exhausting! So for the 99.9% of the world that has no intention of going through with any meaningful resolutions, let me present you with eight easy to accomplish ones that may also make you enjoy football a wee bit more.
Oh, before we get started, here are some of the resolutions I made last year that were smart: I promised myself that I wouldn’t get sucked in any early season success by the Blue Bombers. I heeded that advice after the Bombers started 2-1; the team would win only three more times so good job by me. I also resolved to not make fun of Henry Burris; I think that one turned out well. Of course I also resolved to go all in on Jeff Tedford so really what the hell do I know?
Anyway, here my CFL related resolutions for 2016:
1. Focus on athletes who have done good deeds this past year:
I make this resolution all the time. It’s always easier to focus on the negative stories and the general mayhem that comes with young athletes. And we’re all to blame for this one. We in the media love chasing the sensational story just as much as you love to consume it. I ain’t blaming you, it’s human nature.
So I’ll get this shout out started by saying thanks to the Blue Bombers’ Graig Newman for the work that he does for The Dream Factory, a charity that helps to make dreams come true for children with serious illness. When John Chick isn’t busy terrorizing quarterbacks he can often be found helping out the Canadian Diabetes Association. This league is filled with volunteers and social crusaders so hop on ye olde Google Machine and check out the good work that is being done.
2. To do whatever needs to be done to get Nik Lewis a job in broadcasting:
This will be the hardest resolution to accomplish. Lewis had a bounce back year in Montreal with 70 receptions, which is one more catch than he had combined in 2013 and 2014. Finally healthy, Lewis was once again able to contribute on the field. But football is not a kind game and Lewis is 33 years old and a free agent so there are no guarantees he’ll be catching passes in 2016.
He wants to play and he deserves another opportunity, however if teams don’t come knocking we need to find some media outlets for him. Who wouldn’t want to read a 1,000 word column on who are the dirtiest defensive backs in the league written by Lewis as you’re listening to the “Low-Down with Lewis” podcast while waiting for his spot on TSN? The guy is entertaining, he must have a 1000 stories and judging by his Twitter feed would not have a problem being honest. We’re all waiting for you Nik!
3. Keep an eye on Jon Cornish’s next act:
There are many athletes who just disappear after their playing days are done. They go off and raise families and take jobs outside of the public eye only to be seen at alumni events and charity golf tournaments. But I don’t think that will be the case for Cornish. Cornish has always been one of those self aware football players who consistently has something interesting to say and isn’t afraid to speak up and support a variety of social causes, including gay and lesbian rights.
Cornish also spoke at his retirement ceremony about wanting to play a part in helping reduce head trauma in sports. Cornish’s next career could go in so many different ways, from becoming a financial analyst to becoming a prominent advocate for mental health. I have no idea what is in store for Cornish but I am wildly curious to see what it is.
4. Root for Henry Burris becoming a Canadian citizen:
All right, I know this resolution screams of favouritism/elitism so I understand if many of you can’t get behind me on this one — but what else does Burris need to do to become a fully fledged Canadian? The man has won Grey Cups, a Grey Cup MVP and twice has been selected as the league’s Most Outstanding Player. His children were born here; he owns a restaurant in Calgary and gave sports fans in our nation’s capital so much joy. This guy has done more for our country in one year than I’ve done in 40.
To help speed up the process I’m willing to propose a trade with America. We’ll take Burris and in exchange we’ll give them Justin Bieber, Robin Thicke, a couch from Rob Ford’s rumpus room and a C Level celebrity to be named later. Come on America, make that deal!
5. To not believe that the move to BMO will be the ultimate cure-all for the Toronto Argonauts:
Every Argonaut fan I know is anxiously awaiting the team’s pilgrimage to the football Babylon known as BMO field. I’m genuinely excited to watch CFL games somewhere not named “SkyDome”. My whole football life has been within that big ball of concrete and while there were many great memories, the time had certainly come for the move.
However, it would be naïve to think that BMO will immediately fix all the problems that the Argonauts face in this market. I could go on and on about what needs to change but in the end it comes down to one fundamental principal: Argonaut home games need to matter in the city of Toronto. They need to become a destination, a place where people want to be. BMO can play a big part in that but it will require a lot of heavy lifting from the team. Thankfully the team will have a strong ownership group backing it.
6. To not put too much pressure on Solomon Elimimian to return next season:
Like so many football fans I want to see the last two Most Outstanding Defensive Player Award winners on the field at the same time blowing up screens and shutting down running games. Think about how much fun it would be watching Elimimian and Adam Bighill feeding off each other on the field? However, Elimimian tore his Achilles tendon in mid August and there is no single paint by numbers clear path to recovery.
Solomon is close to 30 and this is not one of those injuries that a player can be rushed back from. We all need to take a collective vow to let the Lions go slowly with his return. Hell, we should encourage them to even go a bit over the top with their caution. I’d rather see him on the sidelines for an extra month. I’d rather have half of season of him close to 100 per cent than 16 games of Solomon at 50 per cent where on every play I would be worried his old injury would flare up.
7. To say 100 prayers everyday for the health of all starting quarterbacks in 2016:
This is a non-denominational resolution. So if you don’t know how to pray or if silent prayer ain’t your thing, well, no worries — just do whatever you can to ensure we have a healthy crop of quarterbacks in 2016. Rub your favourite Doug Flutie jersey, hold your breath for a minute while you think about Anthony Calvillo (all right, that one is weird) dance like Kerwin Bell celebrating a touchdown … frankly I don’t care what you do but we need better health next season.
From Darian Durant early in the year to every Tiger-Cats quarterback later on, this was a tough season for injuries. We are on the cusp of a glorious stretch of elite quarterback play. From younger players in James Franklin, Jonathon Jennings and Rakeem Cato all showing flashes of brilliance to proven stars like Collaros, Bo Levi Mitchell and Mike Reilly, this league just needs a run of durability at quarterback to unlock all this talent.
8. Every time I miss watching the CFL I’ll check out the fantastic photographic work of Johany Jutras:
Yes I’m ending this column with a shameless plug but damn there are some great shots here. Johany traveled across Canada visiting every stadium capturing stunning moments on the field to some candid emotional ones off of it. I guarantee it will make you smile and start counting down to training camp.
Good luck with your resolutions. I hope 2015 was a good year for you and that 2016 will be even better.
