THE CANADIAN PRESS
If you are reading this than it means that I’m already dead. Actually it doesn’t, I’m alive and well. I just love any movie that has that scene where the protagonist receives that cryptic message which of course will soon set in motion the plot. At this exact moment I am somewhere in France, most likely at a vineyard pretending I know what the hell the owner is talking about. I dropped French after grade nine so unless he/she is explaining that their pen is blue I have no idea what they’re saying to me. Even though I’m away and my chances of catching the Stampeders/Blue Bombers game is slim that still won’t stop me from delivering at least a semi-coherent column.
So as I cannot break down any of the action from this past weekend, I wanted to give a quick guide to the proper way (in my opinion) to consume sports. Now, a couple of disclaimers first. I’m fully away that you will not agree with all of my points. I don’t possess that sort of ego to believe that you would be in complete agreement with all my life/sports philosophies. No two people think alike so why would I expect any reader to be completely in synch with me?
Also, I don’t want anyone to think I am up on my sports morality high horse trying to preach at you and tell you what is right and wrong. The past couple of years have seen the complete infestation of social media heroes either condemning your opinions or spouting off obvious points like “we need to feed the children” as if they were the only ones to think of such a bold idea and that they have made a tangible difference by spending 14 seconds tweeting out such drivel. Think of it more as my handy suggestions for how to enjoy football/sports more. Hopefully some of my tips will help ya and that only a couple will make you wonder why CFL.ca still employs me.
Tip #1: Avoid absolutes about which brand of football is the “best” form of football.
I can’t stress this enough, don’t be that guy that proclaims that one particular form of football is the best and all the others are inferior. I’m cool if you don’t like the NFL or college football — who am I to tell you what to like? But I’ve never understood that “football” fan that goes on and on about how his favourite incarnation of the game is the only real one. How does that bring you any sort of pleasure? All you are doing is denying yourself other options while also sounding like a colossal blowhard at the same time.
Tip #2: Be wary when an athlete says “Only God can judge me.”
I have no problem with whatever religious leanings you may or may not have — whatever makes you happy and brings peace to your life. But I have a serious issue when an athlete has committed some sort of heinous act and than comes out with that flimsy defence from criticism. Wow, it must be so convenient to be able to go through your entire life without any ramifications for your actions!
Sorry but do you know who gets to judge you? Let’s start with your teammates, your bosses and the league itself. They should absolutely judge you and if need be punish/suspend or exile you from a profession that is a privilege to play. Further I hope your friends and family will judge you as well. I am not against second chances, I believe we all have the power to turn our lives around, I just hate it when an athlete steps in front of the mic and instead of taking responsibility for their actions they use that ridiculous line to hide behind.
Tip #3: Recognize that we may be entering a golden era of quarterbacking.
You remember when you were a kid and you had that one crazy good summer? The type that reminds you of ‘Stand by Me’ just without the corpse of Ray Brower? Then 20 years later you wish you could have appreciated just how special that time of your life was? Well we are close to that in the CFL. We have seen flashes of brilliance from James Franklin and Rakeem Cato; we are seeing a star in the making in Trevor Harris and the two best quarterbacks in the league, Bo Levi Mitchell and Zach Collaros, are under 30. (Note: I wrote this on Friday evening before that Collaros’ injury. Here’s to a safe and speedy recovery for the would be 2015 MOP).
Just imagine how much better this picture would look if Drew Willy could stay healthy? Hell, I never even mentioned Mike Reilly. My point is that in a league where passing is king, we’ve got a lot of young stars making a name for themselves. So forget about that ugly 2014 season, enjoy the present and be excited for the future.
Tip #4: Avoid using the term “Hater” if the writer in question is simply making constructive criticism and does NOT have a negative agenda.
If you are the sort of person that can’t stand a player because of how they celebrate than you are probably a “Hater”. If you live in Southern Ontario and you label Anthony Calvillo a “choker” for not winning more Grey Cups well than you are certainly a “Hater”. There is a time and a place for that new fandangled adjective. But what I don’t like is when you read a reasonable tweet from a fan or a well thought out column from someone in the media and they are immediately met with attacks of being a “Hater” towards their particular subject.
I understand you are a passionate sports fan but just because someone is critical of your favourite team, that is no reason to start throwing that term around. It is shortsighted and in many cases it means you’re going full ostrich and that you are the sort of person who would rather bury your head in the sand over hearing a differing opinion. My advice is that before you start penning your “Hater” manifesto on the comments board, breathe, take a step back and consider the other person’s point of view.
Tip #5: Be courteous on Twitter.
Listen, I am all for snarky comments on Twitter. You want to twist the knife in the opposing team’s fan base? Go nuts! If you have a clever or sarcastic way to rip on the misfortunes of opposing players, who I am to stop you from hitting send? Hell I love C-level jokes as well. My one caveat, and it is a big one, is that it must all be done in good fun. This is the ‘Captain Obvious’ point of the column where I say that the worst things about Twitter are all the evil hate mongering racism, sexism and all the other horrible “ism” comments that infect Twitter.
Remember, this is just sports! Your team winning or losing will not help you with your job, with your kids or with your relationship. Also don’t add the athlete’s actual twitter account if you are ripping on them. As I just said, I’m good with making fun — hey, Sports Schadenfreude is an important part of being a fan — but the player doesn’t need to hear how bad he is. The glaring truth of film study will be enough to shame him
Tip #6: Don’t just read CFL.ca and TSN.ca.
Far be it for me to bite the hands that feed me. I love the work this is done on this website and over at TSN. But there are so many good writers across Canada. You’ve got Andrew Bucholtz from Yahoo.ca, Doug Brown from the Winnipeg Free Press, Arash Madani, Drew Edwards and Steve Milton in Hamilton, the Toronto Sun, hell all of Sun Media does a comprehensive job … the point is there is a lot of talent (Trust me, I have missed so many other important names) covering this great game. These individuals make the game far more interesting to follow.
Tip #7: Be emotional!
One of my biggest sports pet peeves is when someone from the mainstream media or a prominent blogger will shame a fan base for being overly emotional. As I mentioned earlier over the top emotion that soon leads to a hateful agenda on social media needs to be squashed, but moments of crazy passion should always be encouraged. I hope some fans in Edmonton went total knee jerk reaction (Like I did) when James Franklin had that great game over Toronto. It’s sports, it’s supposed to be fun. But the next day you will get stuffy media types or know it all bloggers telling you to relax, that it is one game and that you can’t take too much stock in four quarters of play.
Technically they are of course correct. But do you really need to be 100 per cent rational/logical when it comes to how you consume sports? Hey, you have kids to raise, bills to pay and a nasty mortgage to deal with. Sports are often that refuge from reality we need from our everyday lives. My sports world will always have a place for the fan who says the season is over after Week 2; that their quarterback will win the MOP in Week 3 and their knees have a medium to heavy dose of “jerk” in them on Monday’s.
So I hope you can think of this column as an “Idiot’s Guide” to enjoying football with me playing the role of the idiot. I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind, just hoping I can make your viewing experience one per cent better. Enjoy the next couple weeks … looking forward to getting back soon.
