CFL
You’ll see that there are five takeaways in this column. I had six but Emanuel Davis grabbed one for himself and ran away with it.
1) Last week I called the Ticats’ defence a Jackson Pollock painting. I was wrong. It’s a black hole from which no kind of matter seems capable of escape, at least right now. The Ticats smashed the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and knocked three of their stars – Drew Willy, Paris Cotton and Darvin Adams – out of the game. But, come on, they cannot be as perfectly destructive as a black hole, right? No defence is. So, I’ll call the Hamilton ‘D’ a Death Star instead. The Death Star destroyed planets, seemed impossible to defeat and mostly was. But it had one little flaw, of course, and Luke Skywalker eventually took advantage of it. Question is: Who will be the CFL’s Luke Skywalker – if he does exist – this season? You’re up next, BC Lions. Are Travis Lulay and Andrew Harris up to being Luke and Han? If I’m Lions’ offensive coordinator George Cortez, I’m calling Obi-Wan Kenobi straight away.
2) Ottawa REDBLACKS defensive tackle Keith Shologan has still got it. Big time. Two weeks ago, he recovered a fumble in overtime to help lead the REDBLACKS to a win over Calgary. Friday night, he delivered a wonderful performance against Montreal, gobbling up five tackles and three sacks, the last of which came at the most crucial point of the game, during the Alouettes’ final drive. Shologan lives on a bull farm in Alberta during the off-season where, I’m guessing, he works out by chasing down mature Herefords and wrestling them to the ground.
3) The Saskatchewan Roughriders may be 0-7, but it appears they may have at least a little something to be optimistic about. In Brett Smith, they may have just found a young, talented quarterback to groom. Thrown into the maelstrom that is trying to fend off the Edmonton defence in Week 6, Smith – who was bartending at his granddad’s vineyard before the Roughriders signed him this past off-season – looked like a 23-year-old quarterback whose future was still unsure. Against the Argonauts, his play had the bouquet of a delightful, Oregon Pinot which will get better as it ages. Showing escape abilities reminiscent of Darian Durant and the arm of, well, Darian Durant, Smith threw for four touchdowns (two that actually counted) and nearly 300 yards against the Argos. His only real blemish was a pick six that actually said more about Argo cornerback Akwase Owusu-Ansah’s ball-hawking skills than Smith’s decision-making.
For some reason, after writing about Smith and Shologan, I’ve decided to have a big steak and a nice bottle of red for dinner tonight.
4) The rise of the big men continues. I warned you, you know, back in Week 3. That’s when Ottawa defensive lineman Zack Evans intercepted a shovel pass in Edmonton and raced – RACED, I say – to the end zone. A week later, Montreal defensive lineman Alan-Michael Cash intercepted his second pass of the year. In Week 7, offensive linemen were shining brightly. Toronto’s Wayne Smith went tackle-eligible against Saskatchewan and showed the soft hands of a spa masseuse in hauling in a two point convert toss. On Sunday, Hamilton offensive lineman Ryan Bomben went one better in extending his arms and snagging a finger tips, over the shoulder, touchdown pass from Zach Collaros. Kept his feet, too, as he stretched out, which is a good thing, or we may have had tumbling chunks of Hamilton mountain raining down due to the seismic force of his landing. Out of the shadows, offensive linemen! Do not be afraid of the daylight! The time when no one heard your name or number unless you were flagged for holding is over.
5) That is one marvellous madhouse they’ve put together in Ottawa. Behold, the rise of the CFL’s newest wall of noise, all covered in plaid. Tip of the ol’ logger’s cap to owner Jeff Hunt and the entire REDBLACKS’ organization for creating a home game atmosphere that positively bursts through your TV screen. From the rough and tumble lumberjack feel to presenting a “2-point Conversion Burger” that looks like you’d need an actual chainsaw to get through it, TD Place has emerged as a rollicking, must-go-to venue. Of course, putting a football team on the field that has a shot to win every game it plays helps and they’ve done that too. My first ever season of covering CFL football came in Ottawa in 1988. They called it “Super Season ’88.” The team went 2-16. Stands were mostly empty. But, I knew the joint could rock, because the Grey Cup was held there that same year. However, seeing the place all buzzy and boisterous when the home team is playing is something not seen since, I don’t know, 1978? Well done, Ottawa fans. I want to go to there. Now, if I could only get them to play “Log Driver’s Waltz.” That could be their very own “Sweet Caroline” thing.
QUICK SLANTS
If you’re wondering how real the Redblacks are; all four of their wins have been orchestrated in the fourth quarter.
Andrew Harris. We’re so used to his multi-dimensional prowess now that what he did against Edmonton was almost, you know, pedestrian. C’mon, Andrew, mix it up. Kick a field goal, throw a touchdown pass. Play safety and pull off a pick-six while you’re mic’d up and doing play by play, is that too much to ask?
The play is over when Zach Collaros decides it’s over.
Hey, Calvin McCarty. GREAT hands. I mean hand. Must be a converted offensive lineman.
Hey, James Yurichuk. Nice substitution work. Seven tackles and a key pass knockdown deep in the end zone in the dying seconds of Toronto’s win.
Forty-three penalties in the Toronto/Saskatchewan game. Forty-three. TSN analyst Glen Suitor remarked, on Sunday, that he thought 40 of them were easily warranted. Guys, let’s keep our procedures legal and our sides on, going forward. Or we’ll be forced to give officials flags on a roll, like a paper towel dispenser.
Finally: Say, friends, if you’ve run into legal troubles, may I suggest you seek out Justin Hickman, Ted Laurent and Eric Norwood? The law firm of Rushin’, Crushin’, and Flatten.
