Matt Cauz
CFL.ca
I love the CFL Friday Night Football Live Chat.
I know what you’re thinking, that is going to be a fluff piece, that I am just being a shill for CFL.ca. But hear me out. This goes beyond me being a loyal company man.
My original plan was to break down the Calgary/Edmonton game. How would Edmonton rebound after Calgary abused them a week earlier like the crazed drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket, “Thank you Calgary can we have another!”
So there I was alone on a Friday night getting ready for the game when I stumbled onto the chat.
Now I always knew of its existence, but I spend most of my weekends in the summer at my cottage where we have two different fridges dedicated to alcohol but no internet connection. How was I to know there were other chat lines out there that had nothing to do with Justin Bieber or vampires?
This was the first time I was ever part of a chat room (still not sure if that is the correct term) and I was hooked immediately. I’d like to share some of the highlights with you good people.
(1) The first thing I learned is that so many fans across the country share the exact same opinion as I do. For instance, early on I wondered many times if we’d see the Richie Hall angry face. It took less than a minute before someone chimed in with an Over/Under of 6. Needless to say the over was the popular choice. (Side note: Never really got a classic Hall shot. Instead we were treated to his younger brother, ‘The Constant Furrowed Brow”).
(2) Kelly Campbell does not seem to be the most popular player among Eskimos fans. Hey you can never have too many guys with giant neck tattoos.
(3) When you’re alone it really isn’t that entertaining to make fun of a referee who can’t spit out what the penalties are, but it sure is when you have a bunch of fans all doing it in unison. I’ve seen wedding speeches from drunken 24 year olds sound smoother and more concise than my new favourite official Andre Proulx. I had no problem with the game he called, but the guy was a disaster trying to inform the crowd what each penalty was. It’s always nice when other people notice petty little things like that and can share in the humour. By the way I looked him up … did you know that there is a Facebook group devoted to ripping on Proulx? I almost feel bad giggling at his eloquence.
(4) What came as no surprise … one person was logged in under the handle: Argos Suck.
(5) My favourite part of the chat had to be the ripping of Glen Suitor for uttering ‘See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.’ I was going to criticize such an outdated reference when Rids beat me too it.
I spent the rest of the game hoping Glen would uncork one of these totally radical relevant lines: “Where’s the beef?”, “Totally Awesome” or “Smooth move, Ex-lax!” It never happened but it did lead us all to wonder where the mustache had gone from the TSN crew and just how redundant the expression “Yac Yards” is. Hey, you didn’t think this chat was going to be all about football did you? By the way, to be fair to Mr. Suitor, his description of Henry Burris’s 3rd quarter touchdown run as “ride and decide” was quite clever.
(6) There was someone from Jacksonville who was watching the game on the NFL Network. Everyone did a really good job of informing our southern fan of the different rules including the always tricky no yards penalty. I think we helped create a new fan by the end of the game.
(7) It didn’t take very long for someone (thanks Mitch Ward) to correct me for writing Rough Riders instead the proper way of Roughriders. Once again, the lesson as always, do not make a mistake when writing about the Green & White. They will find you and they will get you.
(8) Obscure references to Dan Giancola and Lance Chomyc‘s hair. By the way, take a look here and enjoy the glory of a young Lui Passaglia.
(9) Annoying everyone by writing the lyrics to the Wendy’s ad. My apologies to eskiman and jenn_football if I got that ridiculously simplistic jingle stuck in your head. Moving on to another corporate entity I would like to congratulate the good people of Rona for throwing their hat in the ring for the most repetitive commercial during CFL broadcasts.
(10) The line of the night has to go Jaime Stein and his gentle jabbing of the Eskimos. Our newest CFL fan from Jacksonville was wondering if Commonwealth was a multipurpose stadium when Stein mentioned that, “Sometimes, they even play football at Commonwealth.” Snap!
Okay maybe it doesn’t sound so funny, but really you had to be there, which is kind of the point of this article. The CFL’s live chat made watching the game better, especially if you were watching on your own. I felt like I was watching the game with friends across the country.
One last point to anyone who was on Friday’s chat: “When it’s real, you know when it’s real!”
Enjoy having that jingle in your head for the rest of the day.
