Matt Cauz
CFL.ca
With the unexpected and tragic passing of John Hughes I wanted to dedicate this column to one of the most influential directors of my generation. I remember exactly where I was when I first saw ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’, I secretly enjoyed ‘Some Kind of Wonderful’ and like most guys age 30-42 I had a massive crush on Kelly Le Brock after watching ‘Weird Science’
I know that many of you are thinking this article will be a cheap Bill Simmons rip off. Well you may be right. But to quote Krusty the Clown on lifting someone else’s shtick … “If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you’re stealing my bit.” Hey everyone steals from everyone else. Besides mixing iconic film moments and pop culture with sports has a long and rich tradition, it just so happens that Simmons does it better than anyone else.
So here are my two favourite John Hughes lines that reminded me of this past weekend of CFL Action:
(ONE)
“Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Matthew Broderick, ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’
The key line to the movie goes to the key play from the Edmonton / Hamilton game that no one is talking about. Most people will remember the late 40-yard run by DeAndra’ Cobb that essentially sealed the win for the Tiger-Cats. But that play would never have happened if it wasn’t for first year linebacker Dennis Haley.
Go back to about 2:30 minutes left in the game. Nick Setta and the brilliant Hamilton special teams had pinned Edmonton back to their own six yard line. The weather was brutal, at that point Edmonton needed to generate a couple first downs, get out of the shadow of their own goal line and force overtime.
On second down and six it looked like the Eskimos were on their way to at least one first down on a good looking screen pass to Calvin McCarty. He had blockers in front of him and plenty of real estate to pick up the necessary yardage. But if you go back and watch the play closely you will see Dennis Haley from his middle linebacker position take the perfect angle to track down and tackle McCarty two yards short of the first down. Considering McCarty’s speed and the sloppy field it was a truly great play that unfortunately was probably missed by most fans. Without that play, Edmonton doesn’t have to punt the ball and only needs about one more first down to send the game to overtime. Instead the Eskimos punt and two plays later Hamilton is on the one yard line.
(TWO)
“They bought it. Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.” -Matthew Broderick, ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’
I know, I know I am going back to Bueller but it’s just a goldmine when it comes to quotes. This scene was the first time I remember an actor actually breaking down the fourth wall, looking right into the camera and addressing the audience. Just blew me away at the time.
This quote goes to the B.C. Lions offense that, despite putting up 353 yards, looked sloppy for much of the game. Their Red Zone offense cost them in Week #5 vs. Hamilton and their poor play around the goal line showed up yet again vs. Saskatchewan.
Why did Jarious Jackson throw that brutal interception on the one yard line? I know they got stuffed by the Tiger-Cats last week but that is not enough of a reason to get away from a power offense, especially with Jackson weighing in at over 230 pounds.
Buck Pierce’s first quarter interception continues to follow his 2009 trend of bad throws with pressure in his face. Buck should have known better on that toss. Beyond a couple deep passes to Rob Bagg, Saskatchewan did very little on offense. The Lions should have buried them.
(THREE)
“You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, you’re right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you… but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I’m not changing. I like… I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. ‘Cause I’m the real article. What you see is what you get.” – John Candy, ‘Planes Trains & Automobiles’
Far and away John Candy’s greatest cinematic moment. When he died many popular radio stations played this clip to honour John. I’m not going to lie I teared up when I heard that line then and it still gets me when I hear it now. Anyway I dedicate this line to poor Kerry Joseph.
Two weeks ago his wide-outs gave him no support. This week against Montreal Jamal Robertson was held in check while the offensive line gave up seven sacks. Rob Murphy, who I lavished with praise last week, was the lynchpin of the Argo Jail Break this week. He was beat up every which way, as was the entire line. Just like Candy’s character Del Griffith, Joseph has been far from perfect this season but he is not the main problem, he’s just the easiest guy to pick on.
