Jeff Piercy
CFL.ca
If there is anything scarier than 36 Hamilton Tiger-Cats errantly smashing golf balls at the same time I don’t want to know what it is! Maybe the thought of all our sponsors running for the hills, as balls whiz by their ears, would come close.
That was the scene at Century Pines Golf Club on Monday as the team held its annual golf tournament. It was a “shot-gun start” and you would have thought those balls came out of a shot-gun because they scattered like waitresses at an all-you-can-eat sushi place when Marwan walks through the door!
After my first shot of the day, which resulted in the ball flying into some trees on my left, ricocheting off one of them, and landing in the water to the right of my tee box, I was concerned that someone was going to get hurt. 97 seconds later when I got a text from Jesse Lumsden, who was half way across the course, that said “blooooop”, I was concerned it was someone’s BlackBerry that was going to get hurt.
But no one got hurt. And the day ended without incident. And although I didn’t come home with the custom chopper I wanted (because I can never hit a hole-in-one when I need to) and I didn’t win either $10,000 prize (please refer to said reason) the day was still a success… and a success for everyone at that.
The United Way of Burlington and Hamilton was successful at raising funds to help those living below the poverty line in our communities.
Lawrence Gordon was successful every time he drove his cart straight at me and then slammed on the brakes and cranked the wheel and came to a sliding stop six inches from my front bumper. “LLLLLLLLLLike a glove” as Ace Venture would say.
I was successful at driving the ball 18 inches past the farthest ladies’ drive on the “long drive” hole. Actually that’s not true, because mine was in the rough, apparently disqualifying the shot, but it was a moral victory of sorts. Cue another round of sarcastic text messages.
JP Bekasiak was successful at being the largest Clark Kent look-alike to ever play in a golf tournament.
Jordan Matechuk was successful at somehow getting through the buffet line twice before anyone at table 3 got to eat.
Yes it was a great day, and given our respective skill sets on the golf course, I would say it was a successful one.
Whether or not we get invited back to Century Pines is another story.
Jeff Piercy is in his fourth CFL season. He was a second round pick in the 2005 Canadian Draft.
