Siddeeq Shabazz
CFL.ca
Last time I said I was going to talk about how my experiences in the game of football have correlated to my experiences in the game of life and how that’s evolved over the years. So I find it fitting to start at the beginning of my love affair with football.
I can’t remember the first time I was introduced to a football, but I do know that it could have been as early as kindergarten. My first recollection of the game is being in front of my elementary school playing catch in a grass field that had more briars than grass – and even with the possibility of puncturing the football, getting stickers in our hands or anywhere else depending on how one fell. Despite those circumstances, we looked forward to those few minutes with the pigskin every single day before we were off to class – come rain or sunshine.
Like most things at that age, neither the circumstances, nor the activity really counted for much itself. It was as if our youthful essence was the magic ingredient to making everything fun. Those are the times I look back on now and they still warm me up and put a smile on my face.
Maybe it goes to the fact that we just forget most of the bad times, but even when I look back to my college or even high school days for that matter, they don’t come close to matching the utopian feeling of my earlier childhood days. I can actually remember starting to miss those days the older I got and the heavier my responsibilities became.
For example, when I had to start making those college decisions that were said to determine the quality of the rest of my life, followed immediately by the boring monotony of the college lifestyle of an athlete, things became increasingly difficult. At some time between college and a career playing professional football I completely forgot about the life I was living and just started riding that proverbial rollercoaster of life.
My relationship with the game of football followed a similar storyline. In my ninth grade year I didn’t have a care in the world on the field. I remember running around, yelling like a wild man with reckless abandon. By my twelfth grade year I was more conservative, trying to keep my starting position and hopefully earn a college scholarship.
The start to my college career was a bit of a blow to my confidence when a coach came to check me out during a workout and said that my stride was too long and they wouldn’t be able to offer me a scholarship. The next blow would come when I was moved from offense to defense and my defensive coordinator asked me if I was sure I picked the right sport.
I spent the next few years trying to just prove I belonged on the field. Once I earned the starting safety position, I felt all that pressure every time I made a mistake, and wondered if they still questioned whether or not I belonged out there. By the time I was drafted in the 7th round by the Oakland Raiders – which was definitely a blessing and a dream come true – the game took on a whole new meaning.
Besides the pressure to just make it through a rookie year in an NFL training camp, I was also working to provide for my family. I didn’t call it a game anymore, or even practice; when I left to the facility I wasn’t going to play the game I loved… I was going to work.
How could I be doing the same exact thing I was doing as an eight year old loving every moment of it, and now 14 years later I was more scared of losing it all than anything else?
When you’re being paid to perform as an athlete, there is no way you can do your best when you’re fearful. That fear never really came from me questioning my own ability because I’ve always felt that in any competition I’m going to find a way to come out on top. However, when the game becomes more of a business and you’re competing against things outside of the lines as well it leaves plenty of room for doubt in the mind of an athlete.
As I reflect now, I see how weak a motivator that fear of losing it was for me, and anyone else for that matter, but as a Lifestyle Coach with YourDay E.T.C., I’ve found that most of the world operates out of that same type of fear and scarcity in whatever different forms it takes.
I started out as a kid with a pure love for the game and with all the negativity and fear thrown at me over the years, the game remained the same but my experience of it had done a complete 180 as my perception of it was slowly skewed. In my reading over the last few years, I’ve seen that this isn’t just a hurdle athletes have to manipulate, but more of part of the human condition.
Part of my mission in life is to help people get out of this Fear and Scarcity mode and move towards the much healthier outlook of Love and Abundance which I will get into next time.
Till then, here is wishing you health and joy always.
Siddeeq Shabazz is a second-year linebacker with the Edmonton Eskimos. He led the team in defensive tackles as a rookie in 2007. He is also a lifestyle coach for www.yourdayetc.com.
