Jeff Piercy
CFL.ca
I write my first CFL.ca installment not so much for the fans, but for my fellow CFL players. For this collective band of brothers who are divided in eight, but united by a common thread: an unadulterated loathing for post-practice conditioning.
Whether the weapon of choice is “gassers” the width of the field and back, wind sprints in and out of the end-zone, or 110’s the length of the field, there is no doubt that something must be done to limit such torment, and I am happy to report that the Hamilton Tiger Cats have found the solution!
Now before I get too far along, I would like to say that I am in no way responsible for the creation of this remedy. I will not take responsibility for any psychological ramifications, and quite frankly, I’m not particularly happy that I have witnessed the measures that must be taken. However, I feel I have an obligation to share what we have learned and you other seven teams can do with the information what you wish.
The ingredients for this recipe for success are simple: 6 – 10 300lb. offensive linemen and spandex compression shorts that are just big enough to keep this show legal.
The directions are simpler, yet: For every rep of conditioning, remove one layer of practice attire.
“One gasser coach? No problem. Here’s my jersey.”
“Another gasser coach? No problem. Here’s my t-shirt.”
“A third gasser coach? No problem. Where should I put my shorts?”
“What’s that coach? We’re done already? I was just getting warmed up!”
Desperate times call for desperate measures and there is no quicker way to put an end to a practice than to send a collective two metric tons of humanity across a football field and back in about two yards of black spandex.
As with all good deals, however, there is a catch. While it must be very liberating for the big guys to leg it out across the field in nothing but a pair of tight black shorts and cleats, the rest of the team has to watch them leg it out across the field in nothing but a pair of tight black shorts and cleats. A catch-22 if there ever was one. Would you rather put an end to conditioning or put an end to the scantily clad 300 pounders?
Judging by the faces on the field during training camp I’d say it’s a hung jury.
Jeff Piercy is in his fourth CFL season. He was a second round pick in the 2005 Canadian Draft.
