Johany Jutras/CFL.ca
There is something so entertaining about watching position players in baseball attempt to pitch in the final innings of a blowout. It’s fun, it’s a novelty, it has no bearing on the game yet I can’t my eyes off of it. It just looks so different than the normal pitcher vs. batter exchange.
I bring this up because lost in all the different storylines that came out of Edmonton’s 37-26 win over the BC Lions was that with 2:17 left in the game, Odell Willis kicked off for the Eskimos! How often do you get to see nine-year veteran defensive ends kicking off? It was a first for me.
You may have missed it live as TSN was capturing Mike Reilly on the sidelines congratulating his teammates on the victory but at the last moment they cut back to the action and there was Willis showing off his kicking skills. Thankfully, TSN gave us a glorious replay of Willis’ Charley Barkley like wind up as he booted the ball as far as he could.
When was the last time you saw a stat line of four tackles, two sacks and one 43 yard kickoff? The best part may have been him jumping up and down afterwards as he celebrated his way back to the sidelines. That moment was so much fun that I immediately wanted more of it.
Here is my list of players I demand switch positions, for no other reason than it would entertain me and hopefully you as well:
1.Solomon Elimimian
Elimimian switches to running back. This would be great for so many reasons. I want to see that sort of ferocity at the running back position. Would he try to run away from defenders? Would his instincts kick in and at the last moment would he try to hit a perusing linebacker instead of trying to gain more yards? After getting knocked around all game would he suddenly feel bad for all the players he has laid out? (Probably not)
2. Jerome Messam
Messam switches to linebacker. It only makes sense to have the most physical runner convert over to the dark side. Just when you thought the Week 9 matchup between the Calgary Stampeders and the BC Lions couldn’t get any better. Imagine the collisions when Elimimian bursts through the line only to be met by Messam on a short yardage situation! The dude runs over linebackers and safeties for a living; let’s see the kind of damage he could do trying to stop opposing offences.
3. Chris Rainey
Rainey is converted into an every down back. Okay, technically he is not adopting a new role but dammit I’m tired of Rainey getting just a handful of offensive touches each week. I know he’s so valuable in the return game but this is my column and I’m greedy. Just go back and watch this video about who the fastest player in the league is and tell me you wouldn’t enjoy Rainey getting 20 touches a game.
4. Nik Lewis
Lewis switches to defensive tackle. I really don’t think I need to paint a picture here. You’re already imagining him knifing in between the guard and the tackle as he sacks the quarterback again. He’s always had one of the most unconventional body types for a Hall of Fame receiver, he could handle the physical nature of the position and I imagine he would have fun causing havoc in the backfield.
5. James Franklin
Franklin switches to a starting quarterback. All right, I’m cheating again but this guy has too much talent to be on the bench and he’s never going to see the field playing behind Mike Reilly. Come on Saskatchewan or Montreal, you guys eventually are going to need that young face of the franchise type passer.
6. Simoni Lawrence
Lawrence switches to broadcaster. The best trash talker in the league would be perfect in this role. His knowledge and experience would serve him well as an analyst and he has more than enough charisma to handle himself in any TV role. Now all we need is for some brave producers and executives to let Simoni be himself and hold nothing back. Who wouldn’t want him dishing on running backs he doesn’t like while engaging in a verbal Battle Royal with Milt Stegall?
7. Emmanuel Arceneaux
Arceneaux switches to personal motivator. He was the president of the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee at Alcorn State and his Twitter timeline is filled with quotes like:
“To go from Good to Great, it’s all in the Details. Everything Matters!”
“Stop being afraid of what could go Wrong and instead think of what could go Right.”
“STARVE your Distractions…FEED your Focus!”
When I’m sitting on the couch going through a bag of chocolate chips (Underrated snack choice) I could use someone who once said, “My thing is focusing on Manny Arceneaux and how can I be better than the Manny Arceneaux from yesterday? So it’s a daily grind for me just to compete against myself” as my life coach.
8. SJ Green
Green switches to safety. If he knows where all the holes are in any zone defence than it stands to reason he would do an excellent job of closing those holes from his position in the middle of the secondary.
9. Taylor Loffler
Loffler switches to male model for a major paper towel company. You’re telling me Taylor’s face couldn’t be the new brawny paper towel man? Just look at this man! I’m getting lost in those eyes. You know what, I think I have to buy a club pack right now.
10. Brad Sinopoli
Sinopoli switches to quarterback. The 2010 Hec Crighton winner after leading the nation with 2,756 passing yards, 22 touchdowns as a member of the Ottawa Gee-Gees gets to back up Trevor Harris. You want a great story for the summer? How about a Canadian playing quarterback in our nation’s capital? That would move the needle in the Canadian sports media world.
11. Peter Dyakowski
Dyakowski switches to my on-call partner for Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit. We would dominate at the cottage with my useless knowledge and all his real knowledge that helped him win on CBC’s Canada’s Smartest Person.
12. Brandon Zylstra
Zylstra switches to defensive end. He’s fast; he’s 6-foot-3 and around 220 pounds. All we need to is to add 10 pounds of bulk, throw him at rush end and watch him beat offensive tackles on his way to the quarterback.
13. Charleston Hughes
Hughes switches to kick returner. I have no earthly reason why, I just want to see what a 250-plus pound defensive end with 92 career sacks looks like as he is racing up field on the opening kickoff. Would you want to try and tackle him? I have this image of every member of the opposing coverage unit playing a giant game of rock, paper, scissors to see who is going to go first.
